Dispatches From The Seven Kingdoms: Tourney Standings


By Bryan Cogman

SHANE'S CASTLE, Northern Ireland - Today, on the picaresque grounds of Shane's Castle, the games begin. A time-honored tradition, so it is.  Warriors from across the world have gathered together to compete at the highest level.   This is the stuff of legend where victors are immortalized in songs of chivalry, and the defeated return to their strongholds in disgrace.

Of course, I'm talking about "Fruit Ninja."  What did you think I was talking about?

It was Harry Lloyd (Viserys) who first brought this addictive iPhone game to the attention of young Maisie Williams (Arya), who, in turn, exposed it to David & Dan.  The fever spread, and now cast and crew alike are engaged in a mighty battle for ninja supremacy.  No need to get into the specifics of the game here...suffice to say, it involves fruit.  And ninjas.  

At David's request (probably cuz he's in the lead), here are the current standings in the ongoing GoT Fruit Ninja Tourney: 

David Benioff (exec producer/writer): 512
Buster Reeves (stunts dept.): 446
Sophie Turner (actor, "Sansa"): 358
D.B. Weiss (exec producer/writer): 354
Harry Lloyd (actor, "Viserys"): 329
Donna Hughes (costume dept.): 326
Maisie Willaims (actor, "Arya"): 222

NOTE: Lena Headey (actor, "Cersei") claims to hold a score of 4,552, blindfolded, on super-bomb mode. Some of you might find this hard to believe, but I'm not about to argue with Queen Cersei...I value my head too much.  

Hmm?  The Tourney of the Hand?  Yeah, that's happening here too.  The stands have been erected, banners flap in the breeze featuring sigils from the great houses (I'm particularly fond of graphic artist Jim Stanes' design for House Royce), and a sea of extras cheer as we film the tournament scenes from Episodes IV and V.  There’s a lot to take in here - jousting, hand-to-hand swordplay, intense, dramatic exchanges in the stands...thank the Gods we have several days to work on it and the weather is behaving itself. 

Today, we joust!  Ser Gregor Clegane (played by the formidable Conan Stevens) vs. Ser Loras Tyrell (Finn Jones).  Of course, we try to not to kill our actors on 'Game of Thrones,' so for our two big jousts we're using members of a renowned team of stunt riders known as The Devil's Horsemen. 

Until next time, friends,

As High as Honor

THIS JUST IN: Donna Hughes (costume dept) has overthrown Benioff with a whopping 646!!!